Friday, November 27, 2009

Feelings, Emotions, Struggles

Disclaimer: Before you read this is kind of a debby downer read at your own risk...

It seems as though my life is always going to have some sort of struggle.  Now it seems to be my job.  I feel like I get emotionally beat up on a daily basis.  All I keep remembering is that verse that says, "Be content in all circumstances".  I struggle so much with that.  I know life is hard, but there has to be more to this life than what I am seeing.  Don't get me wrong, I am so glad to have a job, I just don't feel like I have found my nitch yet.

I have also been feeling lonely and feeling like the Lord is showing me that I need to weave out certain relationships in my life.  Sometimes I feel ok with it, and other times I feel so alone.  Sometimes I even feel a little annoyed and angry with the relationships.  I will be honest, I feel like an emotional rollercoaster lately.   And in lately, I mean the past 8 to 10 years.  Do you ever see people that you just think, hmm... they have it all going for them?  Well, I do. 

So, on a more positive note...I have made it a goal (3 days ago) to make Jesus my everything, so in order for that to happen, I have to get into His word daily.  I want to fall in love with Jesus.  SO, maybe that is why He is showing me who I need to weed out of my life because it isn't good for me.  I realize this is going to be a process but I am hopeful that I will fall madly in love with our Savior.


  1. Well I'm sorry you don't feel contentment with your job (I got a BA and don't think I'll ever even use it and I still have the same job I had at 16 if that makes you feel any better!! ha), but the falling in love with Jesus plan sounds wonderul! I will be praying for you girl!! (I hope I'm not one of the relationships you are thinking of weeding out ha) Love you sister!!