Monday, March 30, 2009

Quiet...Be still

I have been going to a new church again, and all I can say is, "WOW" you know when the Holy Spirit just prompts you? I don't have many of those moments, but when they do come, it is so AMAZING. It isn't about the pastor or the frills, it is about truly worshiping Jesus and hearing God's word! Check it out...

The past 2 weeks we have been studying "Freedom". Both weeks have been really great messages and applied directly to me and my life. Yesterday the pastor was talking about when Jesus and His disciples were out on the ocean and the storm was raging and Jesus was down below sleeping peacefully, while the disciples were up above panicking. They went down to Jesus and said, "Do you not care if we drown?" Jesus got up and went out to the sea and said,.... (this is my favorite part), "Quiet, Be still!" and the winds died down and it was completely calm. Mark 4:39 WOW! So, through out the message he was talking about how life is full of troubles. They are inevitable, we can't get around them. Being a christian doesn't mean your life is going to be sunshine and roses. But, one thing I just thought of, one day it will be SUNSHINE and ROSES ALL THE TIME! I just cried and cried as I felt Jesus telling me, "Jill, quiet, be still!" The pastor was talking about how sometimes troubles eventually go away and some troubles do not. So, when they don't go away, that is when we have to seek the Father and pray for Him to give us peace to handle it and it will eventually not be as rough all the time. I have so many things that I struggle with, that just spoke many things to me.

Especially in my singleness, I just felt like God was saying, "Jill, quiet! be still! and Trust ME!" I struggle daily in trusting God and believing that He will fulfill the desires of my heart. I have so many people tell me, "oh Jill you will be married one day and have children." Excuse me, but did God come down and say, "yes, Jill will be married and be a mother one day." If He did, He did not send me that memo. I just in a place sometimes that I feel like I don't want to believe that it could happen one day and then it doesn't, I will be in for another huge dissappointment, you know? Then, there are other days where I chose to believe He will knock my socks off. So, I am working on that. Maybe this summer there will be a group of ladies that would like to do the Beth Moore “Believing God” bible study. I have wanted to do that one for so long…years and year ACTUALLY.

Here is what I need to do in all my troubles....GET MY EYES off of the CIRCUMSTANCES! Troubles will come to an end!

So, during the sermon, I just cried and cried, because I just felt like the Lord was speaking directly to me. Pastor Casey was talking about troubles and how troubles are inevitable in our lives. We can’t prevent them. But, they do eventually come to an end. Well, I feel like I have been in the midst of all of these struggles lately and like they will never end. The pastor talked about how some troubles come to an end and some do not end for a very long time. If that is the case where you are, God will give us peace (I believe that is the peace that surpasses all understanding) that we can’t understand to get us through the situations!

I would love to hear from you and if I could pray for you, or if you have a praise. Here are a few prayer requests:

My friend’s dad had his gall bladder removed today, pray for a quick recovery and no complications.
My dad and his atrial fibrillation and high blood pressure. That the dr.’s will be able to get things working properly where he feels good again.

Oh, there was one more thing. We played and sang one of my favorite worship songs on Sunday too, "Sweetly Broken" by Jeremy Riddle. Enjoy the beautiful words:

Have a good night!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Rain, rain go away

So, some of you may know that my dad was put in the hospital on Friday night after discovering his EKG was seriously off. What we thought were possible symptoms of acid reflux, Saturday we found out it was Atrial Fribrulation and high blood pressure. Long story I will try to make short, he finally got released on Sunday after Saturday night having a scare, me and Jennie working on no sleep for about 28 hours and me losing it with the nurse for not caring about my dad the way I thought she should. I am just not sure one is ever prepared to have to take care of their parents...I know I was not prepared and neither was my sister. We both stated this whole "adult thing" really stinks sometimes. It is definitely an emotional roller coaster.

I just read a friends blog and she is looking for praises rather than just prayer requests and I have to be honest. Sometimes I have a very hard time finding things I am thankful for, when I feel like it just keeps pouring rain. I do know one thing I am so very thankful for, and that is for the faithful people who are praying for my dad and my sister and I. It actually overwelms me to tears right now thinking of all of the people who are interceding on our behalf. I know the peace I have felt today, could only come from the Lord. So, to all of you who are showing so much love not just to me, but to my family as well, words can not express how truly blessed I feel to know that you are praying for us.

Someone brought it to my attention that I have had a lot of "rain" this year, and I guess I hadn't stopped to think of it all. Which I am glad I haven't, because it would truly overwelm me and discourage me. I feel discouraged a lot over certain dreams I have had my whole life, and they have not been answered...yet. Kind of feels like a waste, you know. When you are a little girl, no one warns you that the things you thought would just happen one day, may not happen or may not happen in the time frame you expected. That is a huge disappointment. Or you continue to see the dreams you had for yourself happen over and over again in others lives. Things definitely do not make sense in this crazy world. All I know is, in the Daniel bible study I just finished by Beth Moore, there was a part in it that talked about one day, when we are in heaven, we can look back on past struggles and see all of the angels working and how God was doing amazing things in the midst of that specific crisis and how He was holding me through it all, especially when I feel so alone. Oh for the day to sit on Jesus lap and for Him to hold me and for me to actually be able to feel Him and see His beautiful face. Oh how I long for that day!

I am not sure if anyone even reads my blog but, I know that it truly helps me to be able to write out exactly what I feel and think.

I will end on a very sweet cute note, tonight I was talking to Savanah and she said, "Jill, you have to get on! They have a new game on their!" Thank you Lord for that beautiful 7 year old you have blessed our lives with!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Cranky day...

Is it just me or is there something in the air today. Nothing even happened today, I have just been really tired and this afternoon I just felt really cranky and like I am doing too much! Well, I know that part is true. I seem to have something to do almost every night of the week. I am the type of person that needs some down time. Funny thing, my last Daniel bible study last night was on trying to not complain! Hmmm...What can I say, I have a lot of things to work on. One at a time.

Then Belle seemed to be so wired and disobedient. I am so sad that she might start be starting that bratty dog stage. Well, I am the first to tell you, I will NOT put up with it. I will being doing my best to nip that phase in the bud.

So, anyone have a blessing or a prayer request they would like me to pray for them about? I love to think about other people to get the focus off of myself.

Have a good night and a good day tomorrow.

I will leave you with this, just in case you had a weird day or just if you want to laugh....

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Rescued by the King of Glory

This songs says it all for me, when I am in the pits, when words just can't come...

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Almost Friday!!!

This post will be short and sweet but I just wanted to write a quick note. I love Fridays! I guess because I know the weekend is here and if I am a lucky single woman, I can sleep in a little on Saturdays! But, I will say, the older I get the early I get up! Grrr....

I received a massage for my big 30 from a friend and I decided to use it tonight and may I just say that it was absolutely HEAVENLY! I am sure I will be sore tomorrow, but I find it so worth it!

So, tomorrow I have my 1st annual review at work, so pray for me. I am so thankful to have a job in this mess. I believe it will go fine, but I just hate these things. I would like to get a raise, but, like I just said, I am so thankful to have a job, so I have to be prepared to not get one. It hasn't been looking so good for other people in my office, so that is why I say that.

Well, I am almost done with my Daniel bible study and I feel like I am finally starting to get some of the stuff (of course at the end, I finally start picking it up). I find it thoroughly exciting when I learn something new from God and His Holy word, the Bible.

One last thing, looks like the BEACH is going to be a reality for me this summer and I can not, can NOT wait for it! I love the beach, I feel so relaxed and refreshed when I am there and I feel like this will be a great time for me to relax and just spend some time with the Lord. Luckily I am going with a friend and some of her friends that won't require me to do a lot unless of course I want too. IN other words, I will not be hurting feelings if I just want to stay at the beach!

Ok, well going to do some bible study and then off to bed.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Monday, Monday...

So, todays struggle began this morning when I woke up, stupid satan! He sure likes to make me feel bad and let things that I don't even need to keep worrying about bother me! So, I got to work and checked my email and my friend Kim, has introduced me to the most wonderful daily email devotions. It is called Heartlight, I highly recommend it. Todays verse was perfect for me, "Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who dowrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plantsthey will soon die away." Psalm 37:1-2. My thoughts and struggles were of worrying what other people think about me. I want everyone to like me and I know that, that can't happen! But, I am just so afraid with the people who I am no longer friends with, will just keep spreading all of my negative side to everyone. Totally ridiculous, I KNOW, but oh so real! I am trying to tell myself that no one is perfect and even those who chose to talk badly of me and my faults, have their own issues they should really be noticing and working on that. My friend Dawn told me something the other night that I need to put in to daily practice, especially at my job, and I am sorry, but I will probably boch this all up, but the part that stuck was, if you find yourself gossipping, then you are about to be unemployed by Jesus! So, I need to remember when I gossip, I am not working for Jesus and I am totally acting unemployed! I just loved that! Thanks, Dawn!

I couldn't quit feeling so tired today. It was terrible, so tonight instead of going for a walk, I am going to or correction, I am taking it easy on my bed with sweet Belle. I am so ready for the warm weather that is on its way.

So, I would like to start being more grateful, so today I am thankful for Belle. The Lord has totally blessed me with this dog that I have fallen in love with. She makes me crazy sometimes and I tend to yell at her sometimes too, but she is such a sweet blessing. I have wanted a dog for about 10 years and I have never been able to have one until now. She is 15 weeks old! I am thankful for other things as well, but she is what I am most thankful for today. Here she is when I first got her on Dec. 19th
and then, here she is enjoying a wonderful stinky pig ear!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

A New Day and A New Thing

Hello Bloggers! I have decided to become a part of the blogging world again! Yes, that's right. I started a blog several years ago and kept up with it occasionally, but that was all before the wonderful world of Facebook and Myspace. I love to read my friends blogs and also look at others blogs that I don't even know. Lately I have seen so many wonderful blogs of how God is answering prayers. That has been so encouraging to me! One of the most amazing miracles I have seen God answer is through my friend Kelly's blog,, about their sweet baby girl Harper.

So, today I tried a new church. It is really nerve racking to walk into a new place by yourself and not see a familiar face, but I will say, those people were so welcoming and so kind! I think about 8 people came up to me and said hello and that they were glad I was there. It was overwhelming, a good overwhelming! I know a family that goes there and I eventually met up with them, it was a good service. It was on surrendering our lives completely over to Christ. The topic was "3 Essentials to being a disciple of Christ"...
1. Abandonment "deny yourself"
2. Alignment "take up your cross daily" Luke 14:27, Galatians 2:20, 1 Peter 2:11, 1 Timothy 4:7, and Romans 6:4,6
3. Allegiance "follow Me"
Those are 3 great things to break down and think upon this week.

I had a pretty low key weekend. I did what I wanted to do and it seemed to have flown by. In my opinion, weekends do not last nearly long enough! And as for the snow we received, I am ready for it to move along.