Wednesday, May 12, 2010

When does life start to make a little bit of sense....

The question I am asking today is one that I am pretty sure a lot of people would like to know the answer too.  Unfortunately, I don't think life will ever make complete sense.

I have been having some thoughts lately about friendships.  I desire a best friend, I have my whole life.  I have been so blessed by some very wonderful friendships, but I still feel like something is missing.  I can get really close with someone and then something happens and the trust is broken or it just feels like that season of the friendship is over.  I have been wondering recently how I can be a better friend and still remain Jill.  What am I doing wrong to prevent that best friendship from happening?  Maybe nothing, or maybe something.  I would like to say I have been praying about it, but honestly I haven't.  Hmmmm....maybe that is my problem.  :)  I think a lot of times I feel mis-understood or I seem to stay in the same stinking place in my life while my friends lives go in many different directions and their seasons change constantly!  I know that the Lord desires me to to be completely fulfilled in Him and I have not done so well with that.  But, I also know that he created us for relationships.  Maybe my standards are too high for people and then I feel let down...So many questions I have and so little answers. :)  I will definitely being praying about this. 

I also desire a relationship with the Lord and I desire to be Christ like, and I find myself failing at this daily, especially at my work place...I definitely need to get plugged in with some christian women and get some accountability.  I do so much better in my life when I have positive christian influence in my life!

Be still, still.

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