So, some of you may know that my dad was put in the hospital on Friday night after discovering his EKG was seriously off. What we thought were possible symptoms of acid reflux, Saturday we found out it was Atrial Fribrulation and high blood pressure. Long story I will try to make short, he finally got released on Sunday after Saturday night having a scare, me and Jennie working on no sleep for about 28 hours and me losing it with the nurse for not caring about my dad the way I thought she should. I am just not sure one is ever prepared to have to take care of their parents...I know I was not prepared and neither was my sister. We both stated this whole "adult thing" really stinks sometimes. It is definitely an emotional roller coaster.
I just read a friends blog and she is looking for praises rather than just prayer requests and I have to be honest. Sometimes I have a very hard time finding things I am thankful for, when I feel like it just keeps pouring rain. I do know one thing I am so very thankful for, and that is for the faithful people who are praying for my dad and my sister and I. It actually overwelms me to tears right now thinking of all of the people who are interceding on our behalf. I know the peace I have felt today, could only come from the Lord. So, to all of you who are showing so much love not just to me, but to my family as well, words can not express how truly blessed I feel to know that you are praying for us.
Someone brought it to my attention that I have had a lot of "rain" this year, and I guess I hadn't stopped to think of it all. Which I am glad I haven't, because it would truly overwelm me and discourage me. I feel discouraged a lot over certain dreams I have had my whole life, and they have not been answered...yet. Kind of feels like a waste, you know. When you are a little girl, no one warns you that the things you thought would just happen one day, may not happen or may not happen in the time frame you expected. That is a huge disappointment. Or you continue to see the dreams you had for yourself happen over and over again in others lives. Things definitely do not make sense in this crazy world. All I know is, in the Daniel bible study I just finished by Beth Moore, there was a part in it that talked about one day, when we are in heaven, we can look back on past struggles and see all of the angels working and how God was doing amazing things in the midst of that specific crisis and how He was holding me through it all, especially when I feel so alone. Oh for the day to sit on Jesus lap and for Him to hold me and for me to actually be able to feel Him and see His beautiful face. Oh how I long for that day!
I am not sure if anyone even reads my blog but, I know that it truly helps me to be able to write out exactly what I feel and think.
I will end on a very sweet cute note, tonight I was talking to Savanah and she said, "Jill, you have to get on Barbie.com! They have a new game on their!" Thank you Lord for that beautiful 7 year old you have blessed our lives with!
Jill, I just stumbled onto your blog. I'm always looking for other Christian women who post, for it is so important to receive encouragement from one another. It is truly difficult to keep our heads above water sometimes. Saying life is not a bed of roses is quite an understatement, but yes, God is always and forever in the midst of our struggles and pain. He hears our hearts. Thank you for your love of God and your honest, open heart. He has you by his hand. Don't let go. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteAndrea